Mimimyne www.mimimyne.com
The eco store helping families grow up green, stocks a wide range of eco friendly and organic children's clothing made by independent UK designers including baby clothes with funky graphics, designer kids clothes, stylish, modern kids furniture, eco friendly toys and organic baby products.
Mimimyne is an Ethical Junction member offering customers carbon offsets with ClimateCare. "
We have a detailed environmental policyand source suppliers who are share our beliefs."
Mimimyne have contributed this lovely Tshirt set for baby & daddy! After all daddies deserve some prizes too!
It's a Twisted Twee Pine Tree Twinset printed with organic ink on organic cotton. The Dad T shirt features a funky pine tree design and the Baby T shirt features a fir cone, so it's a perfect Christmas gift!
The Dad size is Large and the Baby size is 6 months, it's unisex so it's perfect for a father and son to wear together.
---------------------------------------------
The Mother & Baby Mega Give Away is due to start soon, for now we are just announcing all the goodies that are up for grabs and getting everyone excited!
See what the give away is all about here and scroll down this page to see all the amazing prizes to be won!
Keep an eye on us, you wont be dissapointed I promise! Monica xxx
Monday, 23 November 2009
Irene Strange - Mother & Baby Mega Give Away
Irene Strange and her wonderful world of Amigurumi joins in with our Mother & Baby Mega Give Away!
Up for grabs is a little yellow Noodle the Elephant!
He is soooo cute! He even stands all on his own!
To add to the stash is also a 25% off any amigurumi patterns & a 15% custom amigurumi voucher to be used in Irenestrange Etsy Store!
If you do Amigurumi yourself they have some fabulous free patterns here.
Visit their website for more Amigurumi Critters! www.irenestrange.co.uk
---------------------------------------------
The Mother & Baby Mega Give Away is due to start soon, for now we are just announcing all the goodies that are up for grabs and getting everyone excited!
See what the give away is all about here and scroll down this page to see all the amazing prizes to be won!
Keep an eye on us, you wont be dissapointed I promise! Monica xxx
Up for grabs is a little yellow Noodle the Elephant!
He is soooo cute! He even stands all on his own!
To add to the stash is also a 25% off any amigurumi patterns & a 15% custom amigurumi voucher to be used in Irenestrange Etsy Store!
If you do Amigurumi yourself they have some fabulous free patterns here.
Visit their website for more Amigurumi Critters! www.irenestrange.co.uk
---------------------------------------------
The Mother & Baby Mega Give Away is due to start soon, for now we are just announcing all the goodies that are up for grabs and getting everyone excited!
See what the give away is all about here and scroll down this page to see all the amazing prizes to be won!
Keep an eye on us, you wont be dissapointed I promise! Monica xxx
Tuesday, 10 November 2009
Funny Banana - Mother & Baby Mega Give Away
Funny Banana joins our Mega Give Away with a T-Shopper!
The T-Shopper is the Ultimate Recycled Shopping Bag that everyone is talking about.
With plastic bags being an endangered species, we try to find more and more solutions... Re-usable bags?!! Yes!!! But at what cost?!
"T-Shoppers were once a Top, a T-shirt, a cardigan, a hoody, a vest or any garment that we once wore as a top, they are then being reinvented in to something useful that helps the environment twice, by not using a plastic bag, and not disposing of a garment."
With plastic bags being an endangered species, we try to find more and more solutions... Re-usable bags?!! Yes!!! But at what cost?!
"T-Shoppers were once a Top, a T-shirt, a cardigan, a hoody, a vest or any garment that we once wore as a top, they are then being reinvented in to something useful that helps the environment twice, by not using a plastic bag, and not disposing of a garment."
T-Shopper design in give away may vary from picture.
I have several of these bags myself and I can seriously vouch for them, the cashiers always comment on them! They are seriously sturdy and fit a lot of volume in them. You will be surprised!
You can buy them here for seriously good value! You can even buy them in multipacks and save even more!
Visit their website www.funnybanana.co.uk
---------------------------------------------
The Mother & Baby Mega Give Away is due to start soon, for now we are just announcing all the goodies that are up for grabs and getting everyone excited!
See what the give away is all about here and scroll down this page to see all the amazing prizes to be won! Keep an eye on us, you wont be dissapointed I promise! Monica xxx
The Mother & Baby Mega Give Away is due to start soon, for now we are just announcing all the goodies that are up for grabs and getting everyone excited!
See what the give away is all about here and scroll down this page to see all the amazing prizes to be won! Keep an eye on us, you wont be dissapointed I promise! Monica xxx
Saturday, 7 November 2009
Friday, 6 November 2009
May u have a Shay Day
Two Choices
What would you do?....you make the choice.
Don't look for a punch line,there isn't one. Read it anyway.
My question is: Would you have madethe same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son? 'The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued.
'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play.
The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.
'Shay struggled over to the team's bench and with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.
I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.
The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow groundball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and bothteams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardlyran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing short stop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of thirdbase, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy,and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about sharing this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren'tthe 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message
Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things'. So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward
I chose to share this. May your day, be a Shay Day.
Monica x
What would you do?....you make the choice.
Don't look for a punch line,there isn't one. Read it anyway.
My question is: Would you have madethe same choice?
At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.
After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: 'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.
Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son? 'The audience was stilled by the query.
The father continued.
'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'
Then he told the following story:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play.
The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.
'Shay struggled over to the team's bench and with a broad smile, put on a team shirt.
I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart.
The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow groundball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and bothteams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first! Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardlyran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing short stop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of thirdbase, and shouted, 'Run to third! Shay, run to third!' As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!' Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy,and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.
If you're thinking about sharing this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren'tthe 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message
Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.
We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things'. So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:
Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?
A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.
You now have two choices: 1. Delete 2. Forward
I chose to share this. May your day, be a Shay Day.
Monica x
Thursday, 5 November 2009
My Babe in Pink Fairy Cake!
I got a package in the post last week with Baby M's new hat & scarf, I was absolutely delighted when I opened it and the set looked sooo cute!
I didn't know what colour I would be getting and was hoping it wasn't pink! I'm not sure what to call this color but it's just perfect and goes with most of her clothes.
When I tried it on her though...it was stunning, the set and my baby girl! ;) hehehe
"Where did you get them?!?" I hear you say... from The Pink Fairy Cake! You can find her on Misi & Etsy, don't forget to tell her we sent you!
She is also one of the contributors of our Mother & Baby MEGA Give Away! ;)
Monica x
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
My Egg Nest - Mother & Baby Mega Give Away
My Egg Nest has joined our Mother & Baby Mega Give Away wit one of the biggest contributions so far!!!
Worth a whoping £52.97!!!
1 x SleeptTot £12.99 http://www.sleepytot.com/
1 x Coochi Burping Cloths - 3 pack £9.99 www.coochico.com/product.asp?cspr_id=4
1 x Bamba's First Comforts Signing Kit £29.99 http://www.babysignfactory.com/
These are some fabulous prizes I tell you!
MyEggNest.com is a fabulous site too! It is a comprehensive guide to saving for your child’s future.
The site provides a one stop resource that enables you to compare different child trust funds and savings accounts so you can make an informed decision on their behalf.
Not only is MyEggNest a completely free service, it also lists great comparison tables of all the highest performing funds and paying rates. There’s also a section with invaluable reviews of CTFs from all the major providers.
You can win a piggy bank on their website so you can encourage your child to start saving too!
I received my £250 from the government a while ago for little Mylie and have put it to the side cause I just didnt have the time to look around for a CTF for her... now my next step is to visit My Egg Nest!
I'm so relieved all the info is in 1 place so I can make an informed decision quickly!
You can also find info on what you can claim to help your family financially e.g. child benefit, tax credits, etc! Even shopping coupons!
So waste no time and money, visit MyEggNest.com now!
---------------------------------------------
The Mother & Baby Mega Give Away is due to start soon, for now we are just announcing all the goodies that are up for grabs and getting everyone excited!
See what the give away is all about here and scroll down this page to see all the amazing prizes to be won!
Keep an eye on us, you wont be dissapointed I promise! Monica xxx
Worth a whoping £52.97!!!
1 x SleeptTot £12.99 http://www.sleepytot.com/
1 x Coochi Burping Cloths - 3 pack £9.99 www.coochico.com/product.asp?cspr_id=4
1 x Bamba's First Comforts Signing Kit £29.99 http://www.babysignfactory.com/
These are some fabulous prizes I tell you!
MyEggNest.com is a fabulous site too! It is a comprehensive guide to saving for your child’s future.
The site provides a one stop resource that enables you to compare different child trust funds and savings accounts so you can make an informed decision on their behalf.
Not only is MyEggNest a completely free service, it also lists great comparison tables of all the highest performing funds and paying rates. There’s also a section with invaluable reviews of CTFs from all the major providers.
You can win a piggy bank on their website so you can encourage your child to start saving too!
I received my £250 from the government a while ago for little Mylie and have put it to the side cause I just didnt have the time to look around for a CTF for her... now my next step is to visit My Egg Nest!
I'm so relieved all the info is in 1 place so I can make an informed decision quickly!
You can also find info on what you can claim to help your family financially e.g. child benefit, tax credits, etc! Even shopping coupons!
So waste no time and money, visit MyEggNest.com now!
---------------------------------------------
The Mother & Baby Mega Give Away is due to start soon, for now we are just announcing all the goodies that are up for grabs and getting everyone excited!
See what the give away is all about here and scroll down this page to see all the amazing prizes to be won!
Keep an eye on us, you wont be dissapointed I promise! Monica xxx
Tuesday, 3 November 2009
The Art of Waxing!
I just received the following which is currently doing the rounds among a couple of friends. It may bring tears to your eyes but i'm pretty sure this may sound familar to some of the Ladies out there.....
The art of Waxing...
For those of you who wax, you will understand fully and those who don't will never make this mistake. Better go pee before you read this. This Is by far one of the funniest things I have ever read.
Hair Removal...
(I don't have a clue as to who wrote this, but...WHAT A RIOT!)
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of Easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the Wax.
Read on........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, Play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:
'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel then apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
('Cold wax,' yeah...right! ) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the Skin round it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPP P!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!! !
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious... must stay conscious.
Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip.
There's No hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may Pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can Stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax Should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!! !*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!! !
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!'
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL THERE....... ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair colour...
The art of Waxing...
For those of you who wax, you will understand fully and those who don't will never make this mistake. Better go pee before you read this. This Is by far one of the funniest things I have ever read.
Hair Removal...
(I don't have a clue as to who wrote this, but...WHAT A RIOT!)
All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of Easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the Wax.
Read on........
My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, Play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours:
'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.
It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel then apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
('Cold wax,' yeah...right! ) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the Skin round it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPP P!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.... OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!! !
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious... must stay conscious.
Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip.
There's No hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may Pop off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can Stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax Should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!! !*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!! !
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor . Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!'
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL THERE....... ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair colour...
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